An Inquiry Into Discomfort
A tough love fitness youtuber. Science. Tibetan monks. A phone call. And the Guyanese savannah.
I've been too tuned in on all the wrong stuff, junk food for the brain. Dopamine fixes are everywhere, caffeine, endless media scrolling, alcohol, notifications, and any number of other things. Unmoderated, they're not much different from gorging on packets of chips or sugar throughout the day, loading yourself with cheap, nutritionally void mental calories.
Where did my wholesome meals go?
I have a guilty pleasure of watching this one fitness-girlie youtuber who is HARSH. She gives no bullshit about telling you how it is, nice or not. The truth is I'm probably watching her out of some confirmation bias, considering, at least from a dietary and activity perspective, I live the lifestyle she advocates for. But the tenets of her philosophy extend far beyond.
She focuses on three principles:
1) Personal Responsibility
2) Extreme Ownership
3) Relentless Discipline.
(Lol I'm not advocating her merch, but just to cement how central this is to her dogma here's photos of the stuff she sells)
With those three things you "can do hard things" as she often emphasizes in her videos.
But one video struck me in particular, where she discussed a phenomenon where if you consistently do things you DON'T want to do (the hard things in question), that you reinforce brain pathways that increase your mental resiliency to then do the next hardest thing you don't want to do. If I'm lucky enough to find the video again after scrounging around her channel, I'll make sure to post it here with the timestamp where she discusses it. (oof, sorry guys no luck = no link)
As for the research itself, I believe she was talking about this:
"Tenacity--persistence in the face of challenge--has received increasing attention, particularly because it contributes to better academic achievement, career opportunities and health outcomes. We review evidence from non-human primate neuroanatomy and structural and functional neuroimaging in humans suggesting that the anterior mid cingulate cortex (aMCC) is an important network hub in the brain that performs the cost/benefit computations necessary for tenacity."
"When faced with a difficult challenge, many individuals will find the effort too costly, and withdraw."
"Others, however, will marshal their resources, and persist in their efforts against the same challenges, even in the absence of immediate reward."
"Multiple prominent theories of effort and motivation posit an important role for the anterior portion of the cingulate cortex (aMCC) in mediating individual differences in personality which promote tenacious behavior."
And often the things we "don't" want to do, out of discomfort, or the looming threat of physical or perhaps more intangible 'emotional soreness', are the things that ultimately would grant us the greatest fulfillment in our lives.
Training every single day to run a marathon.
Bearing the morning sluggishness in order to see the colors of the sunrise every day.
Exercising accountability even when you're at fault to move through the world with responsibility.
Expressing vulnerability and honesty to those you love to deepen connection.
And while these things are hard they get easier as they become an engrained part of your routine, and eventually your character.
In my opinion, some of the greatest masters of the art of discomfort are the Buddhist monks of the Tibetan plateau. Working with an already ascetic heavy philosophy that equates desire with suffering within the backdrop of a barren, cold dry landscape, all under the growing pressures of a political regime that wishes to strip them of their way of life, these monks bask in the trudge of discomfort.
They purposefully embrace months of voluntary starvation, sit on nail beds and stay isolated for years to prove that the mind, when reinforced, in this case through meditation and yogic exercises, is stronger than any pain or ache that could be conjured in the body or psyche. That even with the most negative of external stimuli, the mind can overcome itself and enter a state of control and mindfulness.
This is not to say that we need to all be sitting on beds of nails, or eat only barley gruel for years on end, but I am sure that we all have our own figurative down-stuffed pillows and plushy security blankets that we can rid ourselves of in the name of discomfort. It is only once they are gone that we realize we really did not need them all that much in the first place, if anything we become freer, more mobile without their fluff obstructing our limbs.
I had a conversation recently, and up came the question "but why do you post on Instagram?" and I found myself flustered, suddenly scrambling to find some justification, more for myself than the questioner. It was in that moment that it hit me, that I was lost and the security blanket was soft and cushy tied around my ankles. I had become complacent, the dopamine snacks that should've been moderated, paced out throughout the week, had become the core of my meals, and I had neglected the fact that I was slowly becoming nutritionally deficient, full of fluff myself.
I began to think, what a waste. Although I have not explained how or why (I likely will at some point on here), I am currently living in one of the most remote places on Earth, the Rupununi savannah in south-western Guyana, and I am letting the beauty of it's inherent discomfort be squandered by the allure of instant gratification and internet dopamine fixes.
And so today, I decided, if you look inside the mental trash bin I've envisioned sitting in the corner of my kitchen, expect to see the boxes of hyper saturated, attractive colors of flashy pink social media apps and mindless content.
Instead you'll be finding a hearty meal sitting on my table.